Death, Sorrow, and Grief-Labor Day 2016

80689,1266136069,4Today marks yet another holiday as Americans re-visit the Labor Day experience.

Many plan to enjoy a long week-end of travel as they grab one last vacation fling before settling into routines of seasonal change. But for some, the emotional drain will be overwhelming as they grapple with the loss of a loved one.

Excerpt from book It’s My Time to Grieve by Phoebe Leggett

Grief has no guidelines to surrender to. Feelings of sadness will come and go at will, without boundaries to thwart the inevitable. Your sorrow may be long in duration, but God will restore with joy, and give you peace, if allowed.

It’s impossible for mourners to function at 100 percent capacity the initial days and months following the death of their loved just one. Patience and understanding are needed during this period of time. Accept assistance when offered, and allow yourself time to recover from the trauma of your loss. It’s your time to grieve. Use this time wisely as you transition from sorrow into acceptance during this stage of sorrow.

It’s also important to refrain from making key decisions during this time. If possible, wait at least one year following the death of your loved one as issues associated with sorrow could cloud good judgment

“…Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (John 16:22)

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Death, Grief, and Sorrow-Death of a Child

picture-of-sad-boyThe tragedy of death brings sadness that often lingers far into the future. In fact it’s not unreasonable to expect days of darkness and gloom to reside daily for a period of time over the loss of a loved one. But when a child has passed there is no turning back.

Excerpt from book It’s My Time To Grieve by Phoebe Leggett

Although it’s best to move on with your life following the death of a child, this blind in-your-face reality makes that notion an impossibility. In fact, the term time heals all wounds will never fit parental bereavement. This exception relates to the death of a child far more than any other loss. The reverse connotation is more accurate as more intense sorrow will surface as time goes forward. To understand this truth is to accept the verity of death.

When a child is involved, there is no moving forward. Horror and grief are moments that will surround a parent for days and months, even years following the passing of a child. In the aftermath, and for a prolonged period of time, it will be impossible to budge from this sorrow. Survival is accomplished only while anesthetized and numb every waking moment of every meaningless day.

Anguish over the death of your own flesh-and-blood offspring can lead to mental d-fragmentation of sanity. This torment will be even more grueling, time-consuming, and painful as time goes forward.

Click on book and order your copy today. BookCoverImage It's My Time to Grieve

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Death, Grief, and Sorrow-When a Child dies

256486,1305120722,1Excerpt from book It’s My Time To Grieve by Phoebe Leggett

A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more” (Matthew 2:18)

Losing a child in death can easily be the most devastating experience of a lifetime. If your child was stillborn, or lived to be ninety years of age, he is still your flesh and blood.

A part of you will then die when your child does.                                                                                                                                                                       Death is cruel, and the after effects painful. Yet age has no bearing on this certainty. The emotional aspects of your loss will be catastrophic.

When a child you’ve waited for, cuddled, dressed, fed, and loved with every ounce of your being dies, it’s enough to make a parent go insane. Although my child was twenty-two when he passed, he was still my baby. That truth will always be our bond.

Click on book and order your copy today. BookCoverImage It's My Time to Grieve

 

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Death, Grief, and Sorrow-Don’t Give Me Any Grief

Cathy Pendola GriefFor those suffering the loss of a loved one, resources are vital for survival. But stories of personal loss will relate best when coupled with understanding, and encouragement.

In Don’t Give Me Any Grief, Cathy Pendola reflects on the thoughts and feelings that filled her days following the sudden death of her nineteen-year-old son Dominic. Surreal experiences such as picking out his funeral clothes and the heartache of cleaning his room for the first time are explored fearlessly and poetically in the hopes that her journey through loss will provide a path for other parents who know the same pain.

Countering grief-speak words including “closure” and “new normal,” and frankly declaring there will never be an answer to the question “why,” Pendola’s stories and poems make room for grief—hers and yours—and by doing so, invite the possibility of hope and healing.

Click on book and order your copy today.

Words from the Author: Standing in the baggage claim at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport, Catherine Pendola retrieved a message on her cell phone that began: “This is the Denton County Police. It’s about your son, Dominic.”

Those eleven words began a journey to understand, as a mother, what it means to be a mother who’s lost a child.

It’s impossible to imagine or prepare for this kind of tragedy. The call comes, and suddenly you’re forgotten how to live; eating, talking, and simply taking a breath seem unmanageable, and yet, somehow, you’re expected to get through this day, and the next.

In Don’t Give Me Any Grief, Catherine shares her personal story of loss, exploring from a day-to-day and a holistic sense how life is transformed by heartache and how life marches on after it. Through personal narrative and poems, she creates a space that explores grief honestly, extending a hand to any parent who feels alone in their thoughts and feelings, looking for a way to make sense of life after loss.

 

 

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Death, Grief, and Sorrow-Ashes to Dust

IMG_3212Death brings to mind the old cliché  “another one bites the dust.” Although crude in expression, the fact remains; when someone dies, they simply return to what they were created from-dust.

“…for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return” (Genesis 3:19) “I am become like dust and ashes” (Job 30:19)

This week has been an emotional roller coaster of events. But most grievous of all was the demise of my cousin. At forty-eight, with his life still before him, he instead chose to end it.

Questions without answers, unrelenting grief, and unimaginable sorrow abound. But for those closest to him, guilt at missing signals of depression that could have saved his life must be dealt with, and understood. However, God alone holds the keys to heaven.

In the aftermath, and through it all, we still understand that God is a merciful God. He will never give us more than we can handle. Neither will He leave us alone to struggle with our grief.

Prayers for consolation, and peace that passes all understanding, are uplifted daily for those who struggle with grief.

BookCoverImage It's My Time to GrieveOrder now: www.amazon.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

For more on death and sorrow, visit www.survivordynamics.wordpress.com

To learn about domestic violence and abuse, visit  www.vowsandlies.wordpress.com

 

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Death, Sorrow, and Grief-Emotions

BookCoverImage It's My Time to GrieveExcerpt from book It’s my Time to Grieve by Phoebe Leggett

Order now: www.amazon.com

With the death of a loved one comes mourning, anguish, distress, gloom, depression, despondency, dejection, loss of hope, ache, desolation, despair, isolation, lethargy, aching, suffering, gloominess, and regret.

Time heals all wounds; or so goes the cliché. In reality, time doesn’t heal every hurt. But the passing of time will make the pain easier to accept. There are some sorrows, however, that will never reach the completed stage of healing.

At times, and when least expected, deep sadness will overtake the sorrowful. There is, however, no set time for sadness. There’s also no set time for healing.

But when heartache comes, it’s best to go with it. Allow those ruthless emotions to sweep over your soul. Don’t hold back the tears. Tears are healing.

“Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?” (Psalms 56:8)

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A Father who Cares

80px-A_U_S__Army_infantry_first_sergeantA father who cares. In honor of Father’s Day.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (I Peter 5:7)

On Father’s Day the pastor spoke on the importance of an honorable dad. But as he spoke, tears slid down her face, and she quickly closed her eyes to hide the pain. She now realized how deep the loss of an unfulfilled relationship was. She was also afraid.

The love of fathers for their children always caught her eye. It was like a bubbling waterfall. But, for her, that part of the puzzle was missing.

She knew her father didn’t want her. But her need also made love difficult to understand.

Over time, and through the years, she had become obsessed in her search for a father’s love. “But why did I come to church on Father’s Day?” she whispered. “Why am I here? I don’t have a father.”

It was then the Holy Spirit whispered in her ear. “You have a father,” he said. “God is your father. And He will make everything right.”

A calm, peaceful feeling instantly settled over her spirit. “This is going to be a good day after all,” she said, and smiled.

But after today she can rest in the arms of her heavenly Father. He’s the father she always wanted, and needed.

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Death, Grief, and Sorrow-At the Morgue

BookCoverImage It's My Time to GrieveExcerpt from book It’s my Time to Grieve by Phoebe Leggett

Order now: www.amazon.com

I wanted to shake his arm and tell him to get up. I wanted to lift him off that cold slab and say, “What are you doing? You have your life to live. Now get up and live it.”       Instead I leaned over and touched his arm, and his hand. They were cold, stiff, and lifeless—not warm and yielding.  This wasn’t the Matthew I’d given birth to, raised, and then released into adulthood. But it was him.

It was impossible to understand what my bewildered eyes were observing. This was too much to comprehend, so I put my thoughts and emotions aside to later dissect, one at a time—to re-live each moment, second by second, minute by minute. But for now my tortured mind could not grasp the truth. These were moments best left for another time.

And there, standing beside me was my husband, concern written all over his face. On the inside we were both stunned, and dazed at the same time.

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Death, Grief, and Sorrow-Unbelievable Pain

BookCoverImage It's My Time to GrieveExcerpt from book It’s my Time to Grieve by Phoebe Leggett available at www.amazon.com

It was heart wrenching to see the crushed body of my youngest child with my own eyes. But, it was necessary, and needed for closure. Yet because Matthew was my baby, the pain was unbelievable.

His swollen head oozed a slow stream of blood; evidence of recent trauma. The metal slab where he lay was cold and rigid; as was the funeral home. He was as he had died; not yet prepared for burial.

I wanted to touch him, and hold him close; to cradle him and tell him how sorry I was this had happened—that he deserved better than this. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him; that past conflicts weren’t important, but he was; and that—somehow—everything would be alright.

But I didn’t, and it wasn’t. I just stood stone-cold in front of him; unable to move, unable to think, and unable to cry. I didn’t want to believe this was my child.

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Death, Grief, and Sorrow-I Need a Friend

picture-of-sad-boy

“When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted” (Psalms 77:2)

“Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning” (Psalms 30:5)

What do we need the most when a loved one has passed?

Yes, we need flowers. Yes we need cards and kind words. But most of all we need a friend–someone who truly cares, understands, and feels our pain.

At this crisis in our life we need someone to stop talking, and simply listen to what we have to say. In other words, we need someone we can pour our heart out that will hear to our cry without judging us.

Excerpt from book It’s my Time to Grieve by Phoebe Leggett

Be my Friend

Just grieve with me

And understand

The pain in my heart

Just be my friend

Just cry with me

And hold my hand

Just feel my pain

Just be my friend

 

Just be with me

And help me mend

Just let me talk

Just be my friend

 

Just pray with me

‘Till I can stand

Just be with me

Just be my friend

© Phoebe Leggett

 

BookCoverImage It's My Time to Grieve

To order: www.amazon.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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